PERSONAL UPDATE: Fifty things I wish I could tell my younger self

PERSONAL UPDATE: Things I wish I could tell my younger self

 

Today is my birthday, so I thought I’d take a look at 50 things I wish I could tell my younger self…

The benefit of growing older is the ability to reflect on the past, appreciate the choices made, and embrace a clearer, happier future. I guess that’s what is called “wisdom” and I’ve been grateful that I started realising that around the time I turned 40.

Today, I turn 43.

I’d like to think of myself in a certain way, and often wonder if it’s how others see me too. I feel that I’m happy, passionate, smart, funny, kind and generous, and these were things I aspired to be as long as I can remember, as I suppose most of us do.

Because I’ve been working on writing several books, one of which is a novel which includes a lot about self-perception and dealing with the past to create a better future, I’ve been thinking about these elements a lot.

 

 

Happiness quote

 

 

 

So here are some things I’d like to tell my younger self, if a tardis or DeLorean arrived and could take me back in time…

  1. Be kinder to yourself.
  2. It’s OK not to have all the answers, that’s part of the the learning process.
  3. Pay all your bills on time, don’t spend more than you earn, don’t accept any of those “you’re pre-approved!” credit cards, and put some money into a superannuation account early on – it will make a massive difference down the track.
  4. Being smart and funny is an asset, don’t dumb yourself down to try to fit in.
  5. A lot of people aren’t going to like or agree with you, so stop wasting time trying to win them over. Pin this quote to a wall as a reminder.
  6. Mr Right will take a long, long, long time to arrive in your life so enjoy yourself, travel, meet lots of interesting people and become an interesting person yourself – stop wondering if the next guy you meet is going to be him. He’s not. The irony is that your Mr Right is actually Mr Wright. And he’s worth waiting for.
  7. It is a very good thing to travel, so go forth and conquer the world. But try to have a bit more money saved in the bank first. Being stranded and asking others for help is hideous.
  8. You were right in high school – you CAN get paid to do what you love, even if you have to create that world yourself. Just accept that a few people will still want to be awful about your success.
  9. Stand up for yourself more – there’s a difference between being polite and assertive, and being aggressive or conversely, a walkover. Taking the blame to keep the peace is not the answer.
  10. The beautiful books and shoes are great, but maybe scale down the shopping about 10% and put that money towards saving for more substantial assets. You won’t even notice the difference later with your wardrobe, and you can borrow more books from a library, but you’ll be grateful for the savings to provide a roof over your head. Still renting at 43 when you want to create your own home is not fun.
  11. You will get sick. Accept that it’s going to happen and you’ll need help. You’re not superwoman.
  12. Friends will come and go – some will be brief friendships, others mid- to long-term, and a few will last forever but still contain bumps along the way. Accept each person in to your life with kindness, learn something from them, and then let them go when the time is right. Holding on to some relationships for too long can become toxic.
  13. You are a risk taker. Accept it and embrace it. You’ll end up with a lovely man who is the opposite, so it will all balance out in the end.
  14. Being the peacemaker in your family will not win your a Nobel Peace Prize. Let the warring tribes fight it out between them, it’s not your job to make everyone get along. Don’t become a casualty.
  15. It’s OK not to be good at sport, but you’ll find that you become quite good at tennis down the track.
  16. Creating a family does not necessarily mean finding a husband and falling pregnant. In your case, it means having a long wait for a partner and not being able to conceive a baby. But surrounding yourself with amazing friends enables you to create a different sort of family. And it’s still wonderful, even if there isn’t a nursery to be decorated.
  17. You are right to be paranoid about securing your handbag – the two times you didn’t were the times it got stolen.
  18. Sometimes you are going to do the wrong thing and/or hurt someone. Accept that you’ve done so, apologise where possible, and move on. Worrying about something for 20 years is unhelpful.
  19. Putting effort into entertaining is worth it, so invest early in all the relevant items such as glassware when you see it on sale.
  20. Being a popular hostess is lovely but exhausting, and most people will forget to send a thank you. Try not to be annoyed by it.
  21. Working and studying hard is excellent, but getting sleep and looking after your health is important too.
  22. Question people’s motivations before allowing their “good advice” make you feel bad, or their unsolicited assistance make you feel inadequate. Look out for the wolf in sheep’s clothing.
  23. You are good at languages and they will come in useful. Stick with it.
  24. Being the glass-wearing, book-loving, slightly-geeky girl will be to your benefit in the future as the names of Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg make nerds rich and famous.
  25. Don’t even think about marrying any of those idiots you go out with in your 20s. The benefit of social media is that you’ll see how they end up, and it’s not pretty.
  26. Learn to cull your belongings as you go along. Throw out broken items, catalogue and secure all your printed articles in plastic containers, and take photos of sentimental belongings. Lugging a million boxes through over 40 house moves and dealing with two floods is very hard work and depressing when things are ruined.
  27. Being able to write and knowing a lot about interesting people, places and ideas is fantastic. And particularly handy for Trivial Pursuit nights and having a rather popular blog. And for writing books.
  28. Investing in skincare and staying out of the sun from an early age will be worth it, especially when you reach 43 and strangers are constantly surprised that you’re not 10 years younger. It will make up for being taunted for having pale skin as a kid when you see how old and leathery your peers have become.
  29. Boys really do want to get into your pants and will say anything to win you over. Don’t believe them. If you really like them and they really like you, you can slowly develop a relationship and then introduce more physical things. That being said, sex with someone you love is fantastic, especially when you ask for what you want.
  30. Save up dollars and frequent flyer points to fly business and first class. It’s soooo much nicer.
  31. You will miss your grandparents a lot, but they’ll be with you all the time, from the way you try to treat people with kindness, to your love of cooking, flowers, Scrabble, art and photography.
  32. There will always be stress but the happiness always wins. Don’t wait for a day when things will be easier. They don’t necessarily get easier, you just learn to value to good things more.
  33. Make the best decisions you can with the information you have.
  34. Whilst you shouldn’t judge people on how they look, it can still help that they make an effort, keep themselves clean and tidy, and show respect for themselves and others by how they present themselves.
  35. Accept a compliment with grace, and unkind criticism with a grain of salt. Either way, it can say a lot about the person saying it.
  36. Sometimes you’ll start down one path and then veer off as you go along. That’s actually a good thing.
  37. No one will thank you for staying back, unpaid, night after night to get work done. Do the best you can in the time allocated.
  38. Perfumes smell different on different people, and also change over time as you grow older. Chanel No. 5 will suit you once you hit your 30s, and will become your signature scent.
  39. Domestic violence is never, ever OK. Report that loser to the police, because you’ll spend 10 years being affected by it if you don’t.
  40. Buying quality investment pieces is worth it. You’ll be enjoying that Hermes scarf and Louis Vuitton handbag for many, many years to come.
  41. Don’t go out with the boy one of your best friends likes, even though she swears it’s OK. It’s not.
  42. You may never be a tall, slim supermodel, but you will still appear in Vogue.
  43. Your parents mean well and are right a lot of the time. But it’s OK to figure things out for yourself and make mistakes.
  44. Getting a dog is a great idea. She’s the best!
  45. Trust your gaydar – the men you thought were gay all end up outing themselves. Don’t waste time letting them introduce you to their mothers, pretending they are straight.
  46. Don’t expect anyone else can or will fix your problems. It’s up to you.
  47. You don’t need to do things you don’t like but at least give things a chance once, and then make a decision. Some things might surprise you, whilst others will reinforce your decision and save you lots of time down the track.
  48. That almost-black plum lipstick is not for you. Nor the orange-coral one. Go for the bluey-red based one. Perfection.
  49. When the right man comes along, you’ll know. He really is your soul mate and worth all the drama you need to face together (11 years and counting!).
  50. Believe in yourself, even when others think you’re wrong. You’ll figure it out somehow, you always do.

 

What would YOU tell your younger self? Leave a comment below (it can be anonymous if you’d prefer).

Cheers, Natasha
www.myLusciousLife.com

PS. I told Mr Luscious about this list and he said, “Yes, sweetheart, but knowing you, you’d have thanked yourself for popping back to say hello, and then do what you wanted anyway. See point 50!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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